Friday, December 18, 2009

Working on the Chain Gang

OK, so… Hooray! I’ve got a job!

I have been offered, and accepted, a position at ILTC, a language-training institute here in Lyon. ILTC just celebrated its 25th anniversary this year and has offices in Paris and Lyon, and is in the process of opening a new office in southern France. ILTC trains on a variety of languages and offers training in the classroom, by telephone, and document translation.

I will be on the English training side of things and, after my own training, will probably start out in one of the general conversational (spoken) English courses. From my understanding, the classes are mostly personnel from business and the like, although there is also courses for college students looking to improve their English as well.

The position itself is sort of what we would call a ‘probationary period’ in the states. It is a 200 hour contract at a set rate of pay. The two main perks in the contract is that I will be enrolled in one of ILTC’s French language courses, so that I may continue my French training; and they also cover, in part or whole, my mutuelle (private, supplemental insurance to cover what the French Social Security system does not). After those 200 hours, my contract will be reevaluated based on my progress and a new one will be written up (or I will be let go). I don't go in to sign my contract and start work until January 6th, so I have a lot of time to get all antsy about getting to work and stop hanging around the house!

That being said, at this point I have no idea what my weekly schedule will be like. Classes are only taught during the week, but work is based on what is currently going on. So it’s entirely possible that I could work as little as 10 hours a week, or as many as 50 hours, or it could be different every week. Who knows?

Well, that’s about all I can think of right now. If anything new comes up, I’ll let you all know!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Long time, no see. Part 2

Job Update: I got the call yesterday, and I do not have a job yet. However, I do have the coveted 'second interview' this coming Thursday. So let us hope for the best. I have never NOT gotten a second interview in a position which I have applied for that warrants one. And out of the six second interviews I have had in my life, only one didn't pan out. So my success rate is fairly high in these situations!

Anyhow, I promised more updates over the weekend regarding recent events, so this is update #2.

On Monday, November 30th, our stuff FINALLY arrived from the good ole' U.S. of A. I'd like to take this moment to thank the following people for their direct assistance: Anya for helping us load the moving van back in State College. Lance for storing our stuff until the movers could pick it up (as well as dealing with the whole U.S. side of that process). Dad and Kellie for dropping us off at Chris', and Chris for taking us to JFK. Finally we'd like to thank Tarlis, Patricia, Joanna, Emil and Alex, Gergely and Agnes for helping us in quickly and efficiently getting our stuff up from the moving truck to our apartment.

Barring some minor damage (a piece of wood from the pallet pierced the bottom of a box and damaged the case for one of my Playstation 3 game; and well as a plate, a bowl, and a glass were broken) things were in fairly good shape.

The biggest issue was probably the preceding week, where we were having unpleasant and stressful discussions with the movers, who insisted that we had to pay 110 euros for a 'local agent' to have parking in front of our building reserved for the truck on the day of delivery. Needless to say, it was fishy because we were to pay the movers in cash when they arrived and, furthermore, the local agent (who was supposed to handle everything himself), didn't follow through and, hence, we paid for a service that wasn't provided. Cars were still parked there and the moving truck had to unload while essentially blocking a lane of traffic.

After Erika and I composed a strongly worded letter to both the local moving company, as well as the company in the U.S. who we contracted to oversee this process, they have agreed to refund us the 110 euros. Now let's just see if it actually shows up!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Long time, no see.

Hell, things have been BUSY lately, and I haven't been updating this as a I should have. I do have several important things to mention, but I will most likely discuss the most important today, and spread the others out over the weekend.

And what a day today is! I had what I consider to be a very successful interview on Tuesday and should be getting a call today as to whether or not I have a job (I'm pretty sure they will call because the it is the Human Resources Manager's last day, as she has taken a position in Australia, which is closer to her home of New Zealand).

Its a language school here in Lyon, and the available position(s) are for teaching English. The company, ILTC, is celebrating their 25 year in business- so I know that they are well established.

The position would most likely be English training to a small class (about 10 people), as well as phone training where the student has a packet of materials to study and work on, and then they call at a set time to practice with a trainer, who then fills out an evaluation sheet for the student.

Because of the fluid nature of the company, the offered position(s) may either be salaried (full-time) contract work, or hourly (which typically means part-time).

Aside from that, the interview process was extremely interesting. Instead of just a one-on-one interview, the candidates they selected to come in were asked to present a 5-minute lesson to the rest of the candidates, while three of the employees evaluated your lesson and presentation skills. You were provided with a whiteboard and markers, and were allowed to bring whatever props you wished. The only two rules were 1) That it NOT be about teaching a language, and 2) that it is restricted to 5-minutes, after which you were cut off.

Some were good (me, of course), some... not so much. The candidates were asked to volunteer for the order they would go in so, of course, the one person who showed up late immediately raised her hand to to go first. Among the lessons taught were card tricks, how muscles work, and how to make a 10-minute chocolate cake (that last being, aside from subject material, one of the best presented lessons, as well).

For my lesson, I immediately knew that, if I wasn't supposed to do something language related, it would be something art-related. I settled on something that was extremely easy for me to draw: me. That's right! I taught 12 strangers how to draw a caricature of me in 8 easy steps. In between I explained what caricatures are, what features to focus on, and how, with a little bit of practice, ANYONE can start doing caricatures. After I showed the group how to draw me, I asked a volunteer to come up and, using prompts from the group, draw me on the whiteboard. Needless to say, it was excellent! In fact, almost everyone in the class did a perfect job. This means either I am a great teacher, or a happened into a group with flourishing artistic talent. Let us hope for my sake that it was the former and not the latter!

After all of the presentations were done, the three employees got together for a quick discussion and then started bringing in the candidates one by one. I went fifth and believe that I made a fairly good impression. The head interviewer mentioned that they felt that there were three strong candidates in the group, so I hope I am one of them.

Anyhow, as I mentioned in the beginning, we are supposed to get word today on the results. Keep your fingers crossed and, hopefully, I will be updating this blog with good news instead of bad later in the day!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

World Cup a Go-Go (final qualifiers)

The past week here in France was a big one, as the national football team (soccer to us Americans) faced Ireland in two matches that would determine who gets to go to the big show, and who stays home.

This is interesting because France, generally considered a powerhouse on the national stage and a regular shoe-in for the World Cup Finals, has been lackluster to put it mildly. For them to come down to the wire against a scrappy upstart like Ireland speaks volumes. I don’t profess to know even a tenth of the whole story or to understand the sport as just about everyone else in the world but Americans do, but let’s just say there has been a lot of well-published tension within the team that has made this a trying qualifying season for them.

Needless to say, the first match was Saturday the 14th. Erika and I went to watch the game at an Irish pub with one of her lab mates. The match was unusually dull with France pulling a win out of the hat 1 – 0. The more interesting thing is that I have finally gone into one Europe’s famous “Irish Theme” pubs. Yes, the drinks were typically whiskeys, beers, and ales from the Green Isle, but that’s where the Irishness stopped. The Rambler (sounds Irish, don’t it?) was staffed by French-speaking bartenders and the majority of the crowd were there in support of Les Bleus.

The real action was last night, Wednesday the 18th. At about 8:30pm local time cars outside started honking and cheers of joy reverberated through the streets. Either this was a pre-celebration or something else happened. Peeking out our window, our street was clogged with traffic as, about a block down, hundreds of people were lighting off flares and fireworks. It turns out it was the local Algerian contingent celebrating their country’s own do-or-die moment against Egypt, thus qualifying for the World Cup Finals at the last chance. Yaaay!!! Our first football victory street celebration!!!

The revelers made their way down our street towards the center of town, blocking the oncoming traffic (which is no mean feat as we live on quite a busy road). Erika and I grew concerned that if the second France vs. Ireland match, which started at 9pm that same night, ended in a victory, we would have to go through this again. Sure enough, around 11:30pm I did hear some honking but not that raucous celebration I was expecting with a French win. When I had last checked before going to bed Ireland was up by 1 – 0, so I assumed that the honking might have been celebration by Lyon’s small, but dedicated Irish community.

It turns out I was wrong. France tied up the game in extra time, thus giving them a higher aggregate score and qualifying them for the Finals. The problem is that the scoring drive was assisted with an obvious handball by French superstar Thierry Henry and, since none of the referees actually saw it happen, the score had to stand (there is no video replay rule for officiating, yet within seconds of the video of the dastardly crime was playing on the giant screens in the stadium for all to see).

And so now I am living in the country that will have gotten into the World Cup Finals on an obvious violation. Even if France goes all the way and takes the tournament, that one violation will hover over them always.

Go Les Bleus!!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Do you think Furries can sell Pepsi?

OK, we all know that advertising is really different depending on where you are in the world. Japanese commercials tend to be way out there. But considering that Europe is basically our cultural relatives, there is simply no reason for what I am about to show you.

Have you ever heard of Furries? For those who don't know, Furries is the name for a group of people who find anthropomorphic animals in sexual situations to be very erotic. Whether it be via artistic representation, or even dressing up as animals, these people really get off on it. And that's fine for them.

Now, have you ever heard of Orangina? Orangina is a carbonated citrus beverage popular in Europe.

What do these two have in common? Well it seems that Orangina has embarked on a disturbing marketing scheme which I can only think is aimed to appeal to to the burgeoning European Furry demographic. I first noticed this as I walked past a shop and saw this sign. I didn't think anything of it until about a block later, when I realized that what I had seen was an advertisement of a sexy pinup girl with the head of a giraffe. My suspicions were confirmed as I began to pay better attention to these little quick mart-type places everywhere I went. Sure enough there were Furries on these ads all over the place. Even worse, it was for Orangina. Its kind of disturbing seeing all the Furries around hawking a drink that is aimed towards the whole family. Imagine Pepsi or Coke doing the same thing and you'll get the idea.

But that's not all. I was looking online to find an image to include here in the blog, just so you would know exactly what I am talking about. What I found instead was much more, and much worse than I could have imagined. Bear-man and Deer-woman flirting on the swings. Octopus-woman giving a lap dance... WTF?!?

This commercial is a little under two minutes long but I recommend, in order to ensure the most damage to your psyche, that you sit through the whole thing.

This will temporarily blind you and/or make you question your faith in humanity (ie- the Orangina Furry commercial.)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Whoa... what just happened?

We were told that it is slowly catching on here in France, but it is still not that popular. But, man, Halloween was way weird yesterday.

Our friends informed us that children don't regularly dress up and that adults may throw on a costume for a party. So we knew it was going to happen but it was still surreal. We were out around the town yesterday and, in all that time, saw just one little girl dressed as a witch. The only other costumes I recall seeing were the two of the cashiers at the supermarket, one dressed as a witch and the other one simply wearing a wig. The witch theme was the most common by far, by a count of 2 to 1 over wig lady.

This got me to thinking about how Americans tell time. Sure, we have clocks and calendars and watches, but we also tend to rely on the commercial nature of our holidays. Oh, there's a whole aisle at the store dedicated to cheap Halloween costumes and another dedicated to candy: must be October (or late September)! Look, Christmas ornaments, decorations, and displays: must be November 1st!!! Hey, Easter decorations: must be March, and about time for Christians to celebrate the zombie transformation of Jesus!

But we don't have that here. At least not for Halloween. It makes me curious as to whether or not the rampant commercialism associated with other holidays will be present here as well. If not, how am I ever going to know what time of the year it is?

Well, Erika and I stayed home last night, she cooked dinner while we drank beer and watched scary movies. Drag Me To Hell was the first film on the list and it sucks. I understand what Raimi was trying to do but he failed miserably in my mind. I simply don't think you can make a campy horror film with a real budget and CGI effects. I also think his camp skills are wearing thin anyways. Erika thoroughly enjoyed it, so that's good.

Next we were going to watch the highly-acclaimed Swedish vampire film Let The Right One In (which is so highly-acclaimed that, of course, Hollywood is rushing an Americanized remake), but the version we had was done in an incredibly bad English dub, enough so that it was distracting and we simply had to stop it.

So, instead, our last movie was the ever reliable and well done 28 Days Later. I have to say, that film has aged well, and Danny Boyle is just an excellent director!!!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Technology does this just to spite me.

What does one write in a blog? Why does one do it in the first place?

Well, for the first question, I assume they write whatever they want. I once thought that, once you started a blog, you were kind of required to update it on a daily basis. But then when it came time to write something new I said to myself: screw it, I've got nothing to say right now. This is the good thing about not doing a comic strip. People really tend to expect regular updates with comic strips (almost on a daily basis). Blogs... not so much.

For the second question, I think I kind of answered that in the first post ever.

But I can say this: Technology seems to be trying its best to spite me. It all boils down to localization on the web. When we first moved here, all of my commonly used websites such as Monster, Google, and (yes) Blogspot decided to immediately sense that I was in another country and localize themselves by changing to the French language. Let me tell you this, if you don't know French yet, changing them back to English isn't very easy.

Furthermore some sites, like the aforementioned Monster, think they know what I want more than I do. You see, whenever I type in: www.monster.com I am automatically redirected to www.monster.fr which is, you guessed it, all in French. No matter how I try to connect some little demon lurking in the interwebs sees that I am in France and redirects me to the French version of the site I want to visit.

I'm sure there is something I can do with my browser's settings to stop this from happening, but if I did that already, I wouldn't have had anything to write about.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Beware the dreadlock John Travolta

Proof that the French ain't so bad.

France fines Church of Scientology for Fraud

Let's light this candle!

So, my brother-in-law chatted me through Gmail to say they were showing the Ares 1-X rocket on launch on NASAtv. Well, weather is not permitting, and chances are I'm going to be on my way to French class well before this thing gets launched.

Anyhow, this is my blog. In case you haven't been made aware, my wife Erika and I recently moved to Lyon, France. She has a post-doc position at the university, and I can't find a job (probably because I don't speak French). Sadly, my unemployment woes have also made me a little stir-crazy and it has been suggested that I decompress by either A) Making a comic-strip detailing my 'fish out of water' experiences, or B) write a blog about my 'fish out of water' experiences.

While option A certainly takes advantage of my prodigious art skills, the problem is that I don't have any of my art supplies. I know that many people would say that a true artist makes do with what they have at hand, but I'm a spoiled brat and need my toys. And we're kind of poor right now so I can't purchase any. Instead, I've decided to practice my wordsmith skills on a semi-regular basis by writing this blog. With that being said, this is not to say that a strip or two won't make it into these blogs at some point or another. Just don't get too anxious to see one.

So, on that note- this is my blog, which I have appropriately titled 'Americans Abroad' because that is exactly what we are. This will probably be an exposition about culture shock and all the little things that we just don't get about our European neighbors.

However, for now, I should get ready for my French class (at least I am trying to learn). Bonus points to whomever can guess where I got the name for my blog.